Gabi took my file to Dr. Sarid, who has agreed to be my oncologist. I have my first meeting with him on Thursday, July 12, and in the meantime, I'm waiting to be invited for my first radiation treatment, which should happen around the end of July, beginning of August.
Now that my immediate future is less of an enigma, the first thing I need to do it cut my hair, something I avoided doing for no rational reason other than a vague idea that there wasn't much point if it was all going to fall out anyway.
With everything falling neatly into place, it's a little disconcerting to find that my latent hypochondria has gone into overdrive. One would think that once the disease you've most dreaded actually strikes, there would be some relaxation in hypochondriac angst.
Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case. I've been anxiously examining my eyes to make sure the whites are not yellow, indicating the presence of liver cancer. The other day, I had an irritating cough and I dreamed I had lung cancer. The next day, my throat hurt and I lost my voice, so now I'm worrying I have throat cancer. Yesterday morning, I had a sudden pain in a small area of my head and felt a little dizzy - no prizes for guessing what kind of cancer I'm thinking of.
I think it's time to go back to exercising. When I left the hospital, I'd lost 3 kg., the only bright spot in the whole experience, and although I've gained back about 2 kg., the fat seems to have redistributed and my clothes are feeling tight on me. Another reason for returning to exercise class is that it would be good preparation for the radiation, which can leave patients feeling tired and weak. It's time for me to start rebuilding my strength.
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3 comments:
Patricia: You are very strong, full of hope and optimism, I think your possitive thinking helps you to fight the hard moments you have had, you have a wonderful family who loves and supports you; look in your insight and discover the lot of strength you have and the wonderful person you are, believe in yourself!
Patricia: the words were written by Sally [the mail account are Sashy'S] with all my love!
Hi Patricia
I keep trying to find the right words to encourage you, but they don't come to me.
What I can say is the your writing style, in spite of the technical terms, keeps me reading all the way through.
I wish I had half your strength.
In spite of my great lack of verbal expression I want you to know that I am with you in spirit and that you are constantly in my thoughts these days. You deserve the best.
your favorite cousin
Paul
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